“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker
We all know what we say has a big value in our daily life and in our businesses. But it is not as important as what we let other people tell us.
As a business consultant it took me a very long time, almost 40 years, to realize that it is not as important what I tell my clients as what they tell me, including in many cases what they do not say. One might think, “How can I help someone, if they do not tell me what bothers them or what the real problem is?” I know exactly how you feel because that’s how I felt. If you are not sure what you need help with, then how can I help you?
The answer is to treat every conversation with love, and let the person you talk to identify what bothers them, so they can lead you to the real pain in their life that needs attention. It may not necessarily be what they think the issue is. It is not easy at first, but with a little practice you can become an expert at it, and improve your communication skills a lot.
In my consulting career, I do not focus on offering my advice first, and then you do what I tell you to do. It is completely in reverse: you pick your own direction to go, and I just hold your hand along the way.
My 30 years of business experience has value only for one person: “Me.” Not anyone else. I use my experience to help others avoid mistakes that I have already faced. I help them to identify their own unique path to success. I do consider myself a business consultant, not there to tell you what to do, but to allow you to tell me what you want to achieve and provide you with a lot of love and support, to protect you from pitfalls that my life made me go through.
In conclusion, I wish to tell you what worked for me to improve my communication with people, and that is LOVE. Instead of sharing my opinion, I share my love and let the other person feel it so they can open up to me, and tell me what they keep deep inside that truly causes them pain.